Geeez. Feeling sleepy.

No idea how the day's gonna end today. Let's see.

For now, imma eat my lunch.

Ahhh crap it's 8am and i haven't slept.

Watched Brain ep 13. Cried. Death is just so........ sad.

When the person is no longer on Earth, it means you'll never hear the person talk, laugh, be able to touch them or just anything. They'll only exist in our memories. Just so sad.

Sighs.

Anyway it's the last day of the year. No idea what i'm gonna do about it. Plan was to go out at night for the countdown but noone has confirmed anything. Hmm let's see. Personally i feel like staying at home and enjoy with my friends. I think their plan is to go out for a drink or something. I mean i don't mind that but not just in New Year or any public holidays man.. please. It's gonna be so crowded and i do not wanna be squashed in it. Rather go there on random days.

Hmmm... but let's see. It'll be my last new year in Singapore. Better do something worthwhile eh? Dang so gonna miss this country. Sighs.

Goodnight. Shall read Digital Fortress and sleep. I'm halfway! It's awesomeeeeeee as ever.

I read it once back then but i've forgotten about it, feels like i'm reading a new book. Heh.

Woke up at 3.30pm. Jana and i planned to go TP. Brought Daniel along, big mistake. Waaaaaaaaaaah. He was so so so so so so so so irritatingly naughty. And it was kinda beyzardi also cos everyone was staring like as tho he's our kid. Seriously why do people always have that thought? Why can't they think "oh, must be her nephew" or something like that. Sighs. Jana bought her lens and I needed to buy bra. So i bought this bra. It's ONE bra. It cost 90 bucks. Mindfck. Serious. Ok stupid me went straight to the counter without checking the price tag. I assumed it to be 70 bucks but it was 90 bucks. It's a Truimph bra. 90 bucks. Fck my life. One piece of cloth worn under your clothes and noone's gonna see it other than your husband. Fck my life. Wae wae wae? After buying that, i went to another shop and bought two bras for 10 bucks. So.... i could have bought 18 bras with that 90 bucks and instead i bought ONE bra. Mindfck indeed.

Ate at KFC. We went to Popular after that and oh god, i was so so so irritated with Daniel cos he kept running around and then he started crying. Fuuuuuuuu. Bought Digital Fortress. Yahooo~

My set of Dan Brown books complete! He's an awesome author. Heh.

Went home by bus cos i couldn't bear the stares from people in the MRT. Just kidding.

Not really.

Bought bananas, i shall bake a cake on New Year. Let's see. Having pauna at home.

I forgot to go and collect my parcel. Fml.

Very full right now. I think imma read my book.

Hehehe.

Crap, distracted.

So frickin sleepy. Need to BO, shower and sleep.

Goodnight.

Morning shift was pretty okay. Five cases and everything was smooth. Starting to get the hand of it. Need to brush up on my medications knowledge man and gotta be more confident.

Lol thank God my preceptor's pretty awesome! Initially, I was kinda O.O, "she looks scary" but.... she's awesome cos she explains everything. So anyway, went home and i KO-ed.

I slept all the way and when i woke up, i was like oh shit, i'm late! And then i realised it's 7.30pm.

-____-

Also, i'm OFF for three days! Woohoohoohoohoohoohoohoo~

Mad happy. Imma elevate my legs up and sleep all the way. Crap, the year is ending already! It's gonna be 2012 in two days time. Fast huh. It's already my fourth week of attachment, gonna be fifth next week so that means 8 weeks of attachment left. That also means, my time is Singapore is coming to an end. Ohmygod. Dad's planning for us to leave at March but i wanna go back to Nepal first. I'm hoping to go NY in April.. let's see how it goes. Getting so stressed thinking about the nursing there. If it was Aussie, everything would have been so smooth. Sighs. But family matters the most!

For these three days, what shall i do. Hmm. Shall prolly be going out for the countdown. Maybe.

Eggcited to collect my parcel later. Mom said she sent nimkin. Hehehe. I miss her cooking.

Everyday in this house, the lunch and dinner is ALWAYS daal and veg. Or egg curry. Been seeing that egg curry almost 4/7 days. The sight of it pisses me off. It's so arghhhh.

I get so frustrated. Like fck fck fck. After a tired day at work, you go home and when you see that same old dish... ufff. I was so pissed today, i swear i was almost gonna cry.

What is this man.. Arghhh. Or maybe ok, i think i've been to used to my mom cooking at least two side dishes like one veg and one meat for every meal. But seriously man?! Wtf, why why why is it always daal and veg and it's not even a variety, it's the same old thing.

Eat that for atleast four days straight and you're gonna hate the sight of it. I haven't had chicken soup in months. Serious.

I know i'm old already and i should cook myself if i'm not happy or anything but... try standing for eight hours straight and going home to cook your dinner. The first thing you wanna do when you reach home will be to lie on your bed.

Or maybe, fine, no pain, no gain.

Wait, wtf am i talking about.

Goodnight.

Another tiring day. Time flew.

Morning shift later. Dang. I better sleep quickly.

Gotta tahan one more shift and then three rest days!

Goodnight.

The day was... argh.

Confirmed black listed by Sister. Praying hard it's not her who will grade us. Sighs.

Went shopping after shift. Money fly man but... i guess i'll take it as Christmas present!

PM shift later. Hope the day ends quickly.

Uniforms currently bleaching in progress, hope they become clean.

Goodnight.

The day seemed pretty quiet initially. Almost empty.

My cubicle only had like two patients present but both were complicated cases.

It was pretty okay...

BUT FCK. FCK. FCK. Feel like crying when i think about it.

I lost my earpiece. I think. Or it got stolen. I clearly remember putting it inside my bag after listening to it. When i ended shift and i checked my bag, it was frickin not there. Heart literally dropped. Searched but couldn't find it. Rempittttttt. Seriously man... my best friend.

When i was in the MRT, going home, it was so frickin noisy. Like people were talking and talking in such loud voices. There was even this guy quarreling with a woman who looked like his mother. I was getting so so so irritated! I don't know why MRT had to be so noisy of all days. And then i realized, maybe it has always been like that. Except i always used to have my earpiece on with me therefore i didn't realise it. Argggh even sadder when i think about that.

Sighs... i better find it man. That's my dad's earpiece. I lost mine in Nepal. Uffffffffff.

This sucks.

What sucks even more? I'm AM shift today. It's already 12.20am. I only have five hours left before i wake up to start another day. Sighs.

On a good note, mom says she sent me a parcel. Yayyyyyyyyyy.

Goodnight.

Oh goddddddd... there is such a heavy feeling in my heart.

I feel like i've forgotten to do something. Dang...

Thinking about PRCP is making me so so stressed. I've already screwed up once.

Come on man, this is my fourth week in the ward. Aza Aza!

Hopefully everything goes well... Sighs.

Goodnight.

I had plans today.

But my lazy ass won. So...i spent the whole day at home.

I don't really know what to do currently.

The only drama i've been watching is Brain. I've stopped watching Me too, flower or Man of honor.

Maybe next time.. hmmmm.

Maybe i'll take a nap. 10pm is too early to sleep.

Dinner was awesome. We started cooking pretty late. Had to chop the chicken, damn it's hard yo. We only had our dinner around 11pm or so. But it was awesomeeeee. Sambal chili chicken, aloo which tasted like the ones in curry puffs and chicken rice. Not much variety but it's 5am right now and i can still feel the food up to my throat. After dinner, we had our log cake. Ahh... it was finished in 5 minutes. Lol. I swear when we're eating, all I can hear is the sound of our chewing. No one exactly talks a conversation. Heh. After eating, we laid around and watched TV. Stayed there till 3am. So windy! Awesomeeeee. The coldness is just too good. Although i'm shivering, it's still..... woohoo! I hope it rains later.

Alright, Merry Christmas everyone! On this day, i'll prolly be... sleeping at home and going jogging later. Lol. If i feel like.

Goodnight!

Sheeeez. Slept at 7am, woke up at 6pm.

Been raining and it feels good. We're celebrating Christmas at Kamala's house.

Went Serangoon just to buy a log cake. Currently at my house.

We haven't even started cooking and it's gonna be 9pm soon. Sheeeez.

I actually feel like taking out the cake and just dig in.

Phupu and the whole family went out for Christmas.

It's pretty crazy to go out on a rainy day. Anyway... asa! Rain feels good.

The coldness!

Ok time to go off~

Crap it's 5am. Ended up watching recipes. Man i seriously can't wait to live alone or be in a place where i'll be having no restrictions, won't be judged or anything and cook all i want.

Lol i think when i live alone, which i doubt will happen so the only time i will be living "independently" will be when i get married in the future, provided my husband and I live alone and not with anyone else. I think i'll be cooking. Wait. No. I'll be working.

Missy! No wait. Not gonna be in Singapore anymore. What do they call nurses over there?

Hmm.

Feeling slightly giddy. I better shower and sleep quickly!

Goodnight.

Currently feeling high. Like wooh, i'm swaying around as tho i'm dancing to some music but only the sound of my fan is present actually. Kinda happy. It was a pretty... good day. Took four cases. Ended up with five. It also happens to be my two days off from today! Hehehehe. Merry Merry Christmas! Ahhhhh, gotta love public holidays. Not that i actually find it special or anything like that, they happen every year but.... it just means a day off! Wooooh~ Fricking full right now. My staff asked us to eat the food from the ward party... oh god. But omo! Blackforest cake after so so long! That has to be my favorite! Yummeh. On another note, fckkkkkkk. I swear my uniform's gonna tear up all the way any moment. Can't handle my fat stomach liaoooo. Kinda lol. Hahaha.

Oh yeah also... one of my patient's relative asked me if i'm Singaporean and when i said no, she was like, "ohh... no wonder. You have a very sweet face." Jaw dropped. Ok i don't have very low self esteem or anything like that but whaaaaaat? Sweet face and me??! Errrr.......... that's a O.O combo.

Even I myself do not think that i have a sweet face. Oh wait, maybe it's because i know myself well. To her, who saw me for the first time, maybe lo.. because in public or when i'm working, i am sort of a completely different person. I'm more quiet and shy. Like i said, i don't really know how to interact with strangers unless i get a good vibe from them. Lol.

Ok me the mad happy right now cos i get to sleep sleep sleep. Woohoohoo~

Christmas christmas, lai liao. But i don't really feel the hype.. maybe because I've been stuck in the hospital pretty much like my entire month. It's time to go shopping! Body shop's having sale!

:D

Sleepy to the max. One more day and then two rest days. Come on.

Day was okay... argh do not want to talk currently.

EXTREMELY sleepy. Hope today goes well.

shall shower and sleep, goodnight.

The day went by just like that.... why so short. Sighs. Woke up at 5pm yesterday, bought the newpaper and a chocolate. Was gonna finish reading when Renu called me to go Taiseng and meet the others there for dinner. Soo.... dinner at Taiseng it was. Sambal sotong, yummeh. Talked and talked with them. Dang. Everyone's going Aussie.
Sucks man. I seriously don't know how my future will be like in NY. I'm not even sure about the nursing there. Wait hold on, i'm not even sure whether i really really wanna do Nursing. Wait... maybe i will. But anyway, it's just so difficult there in NY and it's not even like confirmed or anything. Aussie would be a better path definitely. Plus my friends will be there, the syllabus is the same there, it's pretty close to Asia and the place is slightly conservative too. I mean comparing to NY.
But the awesome thing about NY is... i'll be with my family and... it's NY yo. *In Newwwwwwwwwwwww Yorkkkkk* (singing)
But.. i rather go Aussie. If only my parents could be there. Sian.
But then again, my life's not gonna be over if i go NY right. I'll go there for some time, check out how things are there. If it really seems impossible there, i can always try hard and go to Aussie to do my studies right. It's not like life's gonna stop there. It has to move on. If one path's not good, go to the other one. I mean i'll only be twenty, got years ahead. And... in life, one has got to enjoy it right?
Wait. Before all this, i have to clear one obstacle first. PRCP.
It's only been three weeks and i'm already arghhhhhhhh about it. Been making so many mistakes. I lack communication skills man. I just do not know how to interact with strangers. Sheez. How do people actually be so friendly huh? I envy them.
Anyway prays to God that everything will go well man. Please.
Skyped with my family for a moment. Sighs... as much as i love them, i get so so so irritated when i hear them talk about being against inter-caste marriage and stuffs like that. So one of my phupus went off with a guy and mom was like, "Jeni... if you do that, i'll die." It makes me so mad! It's 2011 man. Come on yaar.
If two people are happy, why interrupt? Who are we to say all that and judge right?
The society is screwed up. I doubt this will change in my generation but i hope in the future generations, it will be alright. And on the other hand, i can see my future, getting married to some Gurung guy. No other choices. Tsk tsk.
But let's see. Heh.
Anyway crap, it's 4am. Better shower and sleep stat. PM shift later.
Hope it goes well.
Ok just finished talking to my parents. Miss them a lot man.
Sighs goodnight.

Yesterday was a bad bad day. Slept around 3.30am or so. Got a call at 7.25am telling me that i'm AM shift. I was like wtfffffffffffffff? I'm PM! Then Sister talked to me and she said i was in AM shift. Ohmygod, i swear i seriously thought they were playing some prank on me. I couldn't believe it yo. No idea, it was like just sooooo registered in my head that i was in PM shift that i couldn't believe that i was actually supposed to be AM. Omg, Sister asked me to quickly report to work. I was like even more huh?! Rushed like hell, ironed my uniform and so on and cabbed there. GG man. Surprisingly of all the days, i had slept early. Like 3am is considered early since i always go to sleep around 5am or so if i'm PM shift. But somehow no idea why but i slept around 3.30am. Rempit, i had like planned out what time to wake up, iron my clothes, get ready and so on but.... oh god. Reached the ward at 8.10am. Thank God, Sister asked me to just sign in.. didn't take any cases. Did EN role all the way. I wasn't sure what time to sign out but i know it definitely had to be after 4pm.. so i just signed out at 5.10pm. So, 2 hours make up. So beyzardi man. Like everyone knew i was late. Embarrassing ya know. So many mistakes.

Crap. Definitely need a bang on my head. Been getting extremely sleepy these days. Prolly lack of oxygen. Lol. I doubt i'll be able to donate blood man. Have a feeling Hb will be low.

Anyway, KO-ed on my bed all the way till 9pm. It's 3.30am, i better shower and sleep too. Getting so sleepy. I'm day off today. I'm starting to get a phobia of that right now. Like, i'm scared it will happen again. I feel like rechecking again and again to confirm what shifts i'm in.

Sheeez. Sighhs... definitely hope the days go better man. 9 more weeks.

Go go go!

Goodnight.

Getting shocked with myself..

Seriously arghhhh. Dislike it so much. Sighs.

Anyway man, i don't know.. I just wanna lie on my bed and sleep all day long.

Damn. Goodnight.

Oh yeah omg loooool, i was going home in the MRT and then the train started making funny noises and it was slowing down and then speeding. I was like, "nooooo, not now! Not now!! Tahan! One more stop!". The train abruptly stopped. I was like wtf, now of all days when i'm dying to sleep. Walau ufff. Right when i thought about that, the train started moving.

That paiseh feeling when you make judgments about people so quickly and find it to be false in the end.

Fcking sleepy to the maxz. The day was mad busy man. I don't even know what happened but the time just flew. Sheeez. Took three cases but one was discharged. Had like only three patients in my cubicle initially but it was still so busy cos they were all new admissions and the changes were like a LOT. Went break at 6.30pm. After coming back, was done with everything. Right when i thought everything was over, at 9.30pm SHARP, when my shift ended, frickin FOUR new admissions. Are you fcking kidding me???! And i had to take the manual BP. Waaaah liao. Thank god i managed to leave around 9.50pm. Sheeez man. And i was dead sleepy.

Dang.... can't wait for Wednesday. One more day. come on!

One of the most arghhhh feeling i can never ever stand:

Being looked down.

And the most annoying/irritating/amusing thing:

Being looked down by someone who's no better in life.

And oh crapppppppppp, getting fat and fatter. And YES I KNOW THAT.

You don't have to tell me. I know myself best. And for fck's sake, imma black face everyone who tells me to lose weight. Yo, take 3 minutes of your life to listen to It's my life-Bon Jovi yeah?

I wonder... why do we mock love and yet we need it secretly.

Went for pauna and came back home with the food reaching my throat. Dipa, Nita and Renu came over to my house. Had a LOL time with them. Lololol. Ahhh good old days. Heh.

I swear i had an awesome childhood. Hahahaha. Miss those days yo!!! I think the old days were aawesome. Back then we didn't have facebook and all these internet stuffs. We used to go down to play every single day. Man.. GC ain't that lively anymore. Sighs.

Anyway PM shift today. Can't wait for rest day on Wednesday.

Hope the days go well... goodnight.

Woke up at 4pm. Baked chocolate brownie. The appearance came out nice esp the bottom, there were no holes or distortions. But.. it didn't taste as nice as back then. I think i prefer the banana cake. Oh well... It's been raining since morning, no complaints here. Enjoying it. Hope it rains at night too. Ahhhh nice weather. Having pauna later.

Fcking fat day. Lol. Nita and Dipa coming over to my line in a few minutes. She made puri and aloo. Lol. Fat day indeed.

Lol im back from meeting the two. Shit i'm frickin full right now.

Do not feel like going pauna man. Dang it.

Finally rest day. Was sleepy the whole day man. Day went on okay... saturdays or sundays, doesn't matter anymore. It's still the same. Sighs.

Went home and KO-ed on my bed all the way till 8.30pm.

Been watching Brain and as usual, awesomeeeee. Heh.

It's like each episode, the ending just leaves you wanting to know what will happen next.

Heh. Anyway oh god, been having so much dairy products. Ate cheese cake from Starbucks and damn, it's awesome. At home, there's nutella so been eating that. There's also milk and i've been taking that too. Currently, i kinda feel like BO-ing.

Anyway plan today was to go donate blood but i highly doubt i'll wake up at 9am. Aiyah anyway i think shall just go during Christmas or NY eve cos i'll be having two or three days off straight. Today's only one day off so think imma sleep to energize myself. Lol.

Okay seriously sleepy. Shall shower and sleep.

Goodnight.

Or wait, maybe i'll look at recipes..

Researching on some diagnosis and so on. Man, sometimes when i see the signs and symptoms and i feel like i'm having all those, i get paranoid. Tsk tsk.

Anyway legs about to fall off soon. Need to tahan 8 hours in the ward and then.... sleeeeeeeeeep.

Shall shower and sleep. Goodnight.

Legs aching to the maxzzzz.

The day went fast. Took two cases. Hmm...

Argh i'm just extremely tired right now. Yawning away.

Morning shift tomorrow, arggggh. That sucks yo. PM to AM. Sianxzzzz.

Hope the day flies fast and woooh, rest day! I just realised it's Christmas next week.

Time is really really going fast. No complaints tho. Would like the next 10 weeks to zoom.

Alright, shall take a nap for a short while and come back here.

Man when i look at Queen's videos... damnnn.

I wish i could time travel back to the 80s and be able to go their concert.

Frickin awesomeeeee.

I think the day ended a lil faster. Supposedly took two cases but the patient discharged. O.O

Didn't realise the time passing by. Wooooh, if only everyday could be like that during shifts.

A lil more confident in using the baxter pump. I finally did stoma care too..

My main arggh skill for this posting will prolly be bladder washout. That skill.. never ever got the hang of it. I don't mean the changing of the bag or anything, i mean setting up the whole bladder washout system. It's that joining of that catheter part which makes me arghh.. I mean.. okay lah i haven't exactly practised it on a real patient or anything. During our skills lab waaay back in Year 1 or 2, i remember being super clumsy with it and i found it to be very arghhh! I think maybe it's because on that day i was very clumsy and i kept making mistakes so it left a mark on me for this skill to be on my black list. Hmmm cos when i was reading through the skill again on my book and talking to my friend about it, i was like... hmmm, seems ok but why am i so scared of it? Lol. Omg the drugs, i need to revise on it yo. Everything sounds so familiar and i know them but i just can't remember their indications. Dang. And it sucks cos i lost my drug list! Need to get them printed from someone asap.

Anyway... North South line was down today. Wadda fuggggg, my shortest way home and it was down. Fuuuuuuuu. Had to go all the way to dhoby ghaut and then to woodleigh. Decided to drop off at Woodleigh cos we wanted to go JooSeng. Bought nutella! Shall bake soon! We ate there and reached home around 11.30pm. Oh crap... been having Subway for three days straight. I'll go to Kopitiam but in the end, i'll just buy Subway cos it's very fast there. Lol. Think i need to switch cos man, my money is flying too.

PM shift later.. and then morning shift the next day. That sucks. PA shifts..

But on the other hand, can't wait for Sunday. Imma sleep all the way.

I seriously think i can go on sleeping for days if i lived alone and there are completely NO plans at all to do anything.

Speaking of sleep is making me sleepy. Better shower and sleep.

Goodnight.

And ohmygod the second video was of his "brother" supporting him.

Ok i don't know Chinese well but at least i know it well enough to understand that he was saying something like women should be in the kitchen making a sandwich and if that was his girlfriend, he would have slapped her?

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

A useless person saying that... it amuses me.

Anyway today while i was watching a video, i figured out one of the things i really dislike in life or guys. Not that i didn't really know but i didn't know it was to that extent.

Yeah i saw a video on this "ahbeng" scolding away, saying vulgarities and so on..

Whooaaaaaaaaaaa, as i was watching that, i had this extremely irritated feeling. Like arghhhhh.

Cannot cannot stand guys who act tough and act like they own the world or are always looking for trouble with people.

I find those people stupid and i hate that kind of stupid people.

There are different kinds of stupid feelings when you don't know an answer and so on but that kind of stupid is like they don't know that in reality they're making a fool out of themselves and are actually making themselves seem like a useless bunch of people.

I mean.... hmm i guess... i just like guys who they know their rights and wrongs and they know their responsibilities and are actually smart enough to avoid fights.

Same goes for the girls. Ohmygoodness... cannot stand those girls who act all tough just because they've got a guy behind their back. Those kind who will go, "stare wad stare? got problem ah?".

I'll be creating scenarios of me pulling their hair back and forth in my head.

Sighs.

Yeah i know.. who am i judge right? But i guess that's my personal feelings.

Priss la ok, i'm sorry.

Tsk tsk. Oh crap, it's 4.35am.

Need to bathe and sleep stat!

PM later, hope the day really really goes well man.

Goodnight.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLZ4E0KRlMg

The embed code for the video's not there.

Anyway, ohmygod.... this frickin made me speechless.

This has to be my favorite voice in the world besides my family's.

I still remember that night in my Babai bedroom when i happened to listen to one of his songs and i swear my heart literally moved and then i started getting hooked onto his songs.

The voice of heaven, to me.

#xiahday

Wore my stockings to work... ok la, my legs didn't hurt as much as it usually does throughout the day. Or maybe it's a psychological effect. Lol but right now, it's aching a lil. Or perhaps it's because i've been sitting down for too long. Anyway.. took a case today. BUT i did EN role. Cos there wasn't much. The patient was missing for like four hours cos of her angioplasty. She came back during my break time so i didn't manage to do the changes much. So... yeah. Been draining draining man.

Wae wae wae. Been a klutz these days. So clumsy yo.

The other day was worse. Sighs. Need to get a grip on myself.

Found out i'm PM shift for these three days. O.O And i'm off for Christmas and New Year!!! Oh yeahhhhh! Lucky! Or wait, i think i better double check cos i might have seen it for the wrong person but 90% confirmed! I.need.to.definitely.go.out.

Hmm... what shall i do...

Anyway i hope it rains.

Woke up at 5pm. Dang.

Swept, mopped my room and changed my bed sheet. Feeling good.

Man i think i'm like buying chocolate everyday. Money fly, weight in.

Got my compression stockings, still wearing it. Lol. It's kinda..... springy when i walk. Lol.

Just that the arghh thing is imma have to wake up 15 min earlier to start wearing it cos it's gonna take time and effort to wear it.

Afternoon shift today, yay. Wonder how my roster is gonna be like.

I heard from Jana that i've got off days for Christmas and New Year. Ohmygod hopefully.

Hmm....

Hope my preceptor's awesome too!

Prays for a better day.

Goodnight!

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.

She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for
her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off,
she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.

He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his
closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking
at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.

Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying:
'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were
mine.'

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by
their side in the most painful situations.

Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.

Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has
nothing to eat.

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's
crying out to GOD for a companion.

Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.

But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.

And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down -
Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.

Got this on Yahoo. O.O
Opens my mind.

The temple bell just rang. It's 6.30am. Ahh feels good to have rest day. Heh if only it was two days in a row man. Hate that it's split. But better than nothing.

Anyway watched Brain. Omggggg, yet again the ending leaves me wanting for more! Made my jaw drop! Hahaha, i think the drama is pretty cool. But then again, i think if you don't really know like medical stuffs, it MIGHT be a lil boring for you. Other than that, cool leh. Currently out of all the dramas, hooked onto this. And it's like the drama doesn't have any good looking guys or any idols but still awesome. Heh. Ok i better sleep soon. I think mama or phupu just woke up.

I kinda felt like watching a movie today and eat at some restaurant. Be it alone.

Wanted to watch 50/50 but it's only shown at certain cinemas. Currently, i only feel like going to places where i feel like it's near-AMK, Bishan, Nex, TP. So hmm...

Anyway i don't think i will cos i'm prolly gonna sleep all the way. Heh.

Goodnight/morning!

But hey, i think i should look on the brighter side cos there are people who have less fortunate than me.

Sometimes my contradicting mind confuses me.

Most f-ed up things in this world:

When you miss your family.

When you're away from your loved ones.

When you're looked down on.

When you're forgotten/ignored.

When you're not wanted.

When you start feeling stupid.

When you think of too many whys and ifs.

When your hopes crash.

When you hate yourself.

I woke up late today man, at 6.52am and the lecture started at 8am. I have no idea or i don't remember switching off the alarm. Rushed and i was thinking of taking a taxi and then i remembered taxi fares up from today liaooooo, so MRT and managed to reach on time anyway.

The "lecture" was about documentation, i had already gone through a 6 hours discussion on documentation during my Geron posting but... it was ok cos i learnt more. Went back to ward after lunch. Boring lehhhhhhhh. Still did EN role today. Omg i need to like catch up on a lot of my skills man. Totally forgotten a lot. Shit. After shift ended, Jana and i planned to donate blood but in the end, think we'll go on Sunday if day off on that day. Sister says she's gonna change our roster again so not sure.. hmm.. Went home after that in the end with Syiqah. Plan to watch movie fail cos i wanted to watch a horror one. Met Zil and Ashis and talked to Zil all the way. Wa long time man..

Reached home and completely KO-ed. So eggcited about getting my stockings tomorrow. Hehehe.

Day off tomorrow too. I just pray that my rest days are gonna be together with my public holidays man. I kinda feel like going JB.. or sleep all the way without disturbance.

Having a rush of mixed feelings right now. It's like, there's something heavy in my heart and on another hand, i'm laughing away watching videos.

Tolerance level starting to drop for some people. Seriously man. Ok back then i used to get irritated very easily. Then i thought i shouldn't be like that and things were starting to be alright then fck cb, everything starts to be the same all over again once the person shows her attitude. Seriously cannot stand people who think they own the place. And it's like once you start to get irritated with someone, everything about the person starts to get irritating.

If i don't know something and ask you, don't fcking look down on me cos there are some other things which i have more knowledge than you at.

And omg there's another person, fcking cb nabei. Getting so so irritated. Trying to tolerate.

She's younger than me, year 1 and ufff attitude. I asked her to do ONE simple thing and that was my first time asking her which was to drain urine, she was like, "you leh??". Da fug, i've been doing the paras and the drainings and i was about to sponge the patient and she said it like i have not done anything at all and like as tho i was bossing her around. When i'm charting the I/Os, she hovers around me and stares at me with that look as tho she's testing me. At first, i was like okay lah maybe she just wants to observe but then she started staring like as tho she suspects me of something. I was like, "yeah what?" and she said, "cannot look at you meh?"

Wah cbbbbbbb.... Tolerate, Jeni.

I can just get the vibe that she thinks i don't know my work.

Just when it wasn't enough, today, she randomly started like you know when people suddenly throw their hands at your face to make you shock and have a reflex action. I was like -___- literally and i was expressionless lah. I just exaggerated that i was very shocked.

When the curtains were closed and i just checked in to see what was happening(the SNs were turning the patient) so i went "ohh". She was like, "ohh. Why you so kaypo?"

Then one time again, she put her hand near my face and was like, "your face is bigger than my hand". -____- again, tolerate. Omg then she said, "I want to bully you".

FCK???! So that was her "plan" all along? If she had said it in that joking way, i would have just joked it off but she said it in such an intentional way. Waaah fck. Seriously, all along i thought she was getting bored so she was just trying to irritate the shit out of me which she successfully did.

It doesn't help that she has that typical face or vibe that one can find irritating instantly.

But these things right... it actually made me wonder you know like... how da hell do people have this kind of attitude? Yeah i know that i do too and each of us has flaws. But i was wondering, i mean when we first meet people, strangers in other words, usually we tend to show our better side no? Like even if we're anti-social and don't talk much to strangers when we first meet but we still don't really show our attitude right away right? Especially when you are like REALLY STRANGERS and have not heard anything about the person from other people beforehand that can cause pre-judgments.

Hmmm.... just wondering...

Haru haru, the world surprises me. Or maybe i'm thinking too much.

Need to calm down. Breahe, smile, think happy.

I just needed to rant and now i'm feeling better. Lol.

Shall not let this continue to spoil my day. But ohmygod, so irritatingly rude.

Aiiiish. think happy Jeni. come on! Shall watch dramas to divert thoughts!

Did my research here and there. I ended up looking at clothes online.

As usual, yawning away.

I think i better bathe and sleep quickly!

Goodnight!

Been having three hours of sleep for the past few days. Tired to the maxz.

Today, I went to the male side. The usual things, did dressings and so on.. Surgical ward, there's gonna be dressings almost every day huh. Supposed to be my day off tomorrow but we have a meeting so day off shifted to Tuesday. Just realized that the next week, not this following week, we're gonna have public holidays! YAHOOOOOOOOoo. Thank God for public holidays. Hahaha.

Omg that means December is coming to an end and it's gonna be 2012! Time is flying past huh. Why can't it seem that way in the ward??

Anyway since i i'm off on Tuesday, can't get my compression stockings on that day! Hopefully the auntie will pass it to Jana. Christmas is coming.. jingle bells jingle bells.

But i seriously can't feel the festive mood. Heck, i can't even feel like it's the weekends and i KEEP forgetting that today is Sunday. And i'm gonna keep forgetting this till March. Wae wae wae.

So sad huh, nurses have to work every day cos hospitals can't just simply close for a day right?

Sighs. Anyway happy that it's 8-4 tomorrow. Get to sleep a lil more and .. yeah..

The day went pretty okay today... had more things to do. Maybe because it's Saturday? No idea but yeah, did more stuffs. Did wound dressing. So yeah.. Finished at 3.30pm. 30 minute overshot cos of it. But at least i did something.

At the end of the day, my legs were about to crash. Seriously man. It's aching like mad.

When i was walking home, i was like, man i can't walk anymore, i need to just sit down!

The moment i reached home, KO-ed on my bed all the way till 9pm. Dang.

Legs still aching. Need to quickly get that compression stockings man.

Been yawning away since just now. Like seriously yawning and yawning. Prolly low oxygen in my blood. Lol.

Speaking of blood, yo anyone wants to go donate blood??! SRC says that they need blood urgently cos it's running out and there's only like 3 days of blood supply left! Anyone??

I feel like donating, shall make my way down there on my off day. But i'm 90% sure i'll prolly be rejected. Signed up three times and each time, rejected thanks to my low Hb level.

On another note, i'm also slightly afraid that if my Hb level becomes acceptable and i do donate, i'll feel extremely faint after that cos i have a tendency to feel hypo.. Hmm..

But might as well try right. Sheez, they say that only 1.8% of Singapore's population donates blood. I was like whaaaaaaaat??? Only 1.8%? Holy moly mama mia. Rempit....

Ok everyone! Let's do a good deed and donate blood yeah? Imagine if it's your parents or your loved one on the hospital bed, needing blood and there's no more stock left.

Alright! Go go go~

Goodnight!

Just researched here and there about the things i found out today but i didn't know. '

I have to yo. PRCP leh.... pu ke yi leh...... ni yao fail ah Jeni????

#failchinese

Anyway was researching about redivac drain. You know what, i think i'll stick to my book instead. Was hoping to see the removal of it online but nah...

Anyway seriously praying hard that the day will be alright. Crap man.

I need to bathe and sleep stat yo.

Sighsssssssss.

Goodnight.

I'll like to pretend he was looking at me at that time.

#delusionalftw

Anyway argh. It's only my 2nd day in the ward and i'm already getting argggh. Cannot.wait.for.it.to.be.over.

Been doing EN role. And there's not much.. cos i've been afternoon shift.

Seriously man... i hate hate hate feeling stupid and sometimes i feel just so extremely stupid in the ward at times. It's like i don't hate nursing. But sometimes i don't know if i'm up for it. My communication level with people sucks, i have no confidence and i lack knowledge.

It's like in nursing, you have to know a LOT of things and when i don't, i feel stupid.

Ok wait.

Wait wait wait.

As i was typing all that, i was getting wtf am i writing. How can i call my own self stupid?

I mean yeah at times but why am i de grading myself to that level? Tsk.

Forget it. I just had another thought going through my mind. You can't possibly know everything in this world. It's okay Jeni.

ITS OK.

Need to build up my confidence level. Lol.

Anyway arghhh. Morning shift tomorrow. PA shifts sucks to the max. From PM to AM, man might as well overnight in the tearoom. Tsk.

Ok shall read up on dressings and drains. Argh no more TGIF.

I have to get my ass up to work on a Saturday. A frickin weekend.

Sianxzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Shit. I'm scared.

So many worries all of a sudden. The way i'm living my life currently...

Damn it.

Go to sleep. Wake up early and go through your book.

Goodnight.

Psychologist says: “Don’t underestimate those children who chase after Korean celebrities, their hearts are purer than anyone else, they love courageously, they will want to try their best to tackle difficult obstacles, the language and cultural barriers. They symbolise peace, they don’t discriminate based on race, they befriend people with the same interest from different countries, they’re more passionate and warm than anyone else. They don’t betray the ones they like easily, they are persistent and don’t give up easily. They are stronger than anyone else on the inside, because when they are loving these Korean stars, they experience the setbacks they’ve never experienced in life. They are all sensitive children, easily touched to tears for a long time because of one incident.
Through investigation, most of them understand gratitude. Their way of thinking is different from others, they don’t easily get carried away by love, they don’t harbour thoughts of doing bad things, and their criteria when looking for a partner is very high, other than looks, personality is more important, so the rate of marriage isn’t high, but neither is the rate of divorce. Their memory is very good, they can easily remember the korean lyrics they don’t understand, and their coordination skills are also very strong. Most of them are cheerful children, not the kind who keep to themselves. Their will of determination is also very strong, they are able to persevere all the way just to buy something related to the celebrity they like. In short, the way these children think is vastly different from others, and their thoughts are not easy to undeerstand. Generally, only those who have similar interests are able to enter their world.


Hohoho! You know what, i agree! Like seriously. I was thinking about all those fangirls i've come across and made friends with and all those fangirls that i've seen. True enough, we don't discriminate other races and we get along well almost instantly(provided we're in the same fandom or we don't have fanwars). And when we're fangirling, we also learn how to protect the one we like and we tend to do a lot of things for them. And yeah i also agree that when we fangirl, we don't look at guys the way we used to before. Like our expectations from a guy will be more. And by this, i don't mean looks, i mean the personality. O.O

*applauds* for this psychologist.

This still cracks me up even now.

They might call you 'nerd', 'kiss up', 'teachers pet', or 'smarty pants'. But in the future they will call you 'BOSS'!!

Yesterday was exactly the same as the day before yesterday. The usual waking up late and then the net.. Read Samachar Sangalo, there's this page about brother and they called him "GC's star pupil". I kid you not, i literally lol-ed when i read it. Hahah introverted? Bro? Lol. Hmm...

No.. definitely not. But i guess he's the type if people approach him and start talking to him, he'll just talk provided he's in a good mood. If not, he'll just sit in one corner and then afterwards, tell me about what he observed. Heh. Lol i miss that dude.

Skyped with family. Seeing them wearing thick layers of clothes kinda makes me feel like flying over there. I want to feel the coldness. Lol i miss Korea now.

Anyway... i think it sucks if the canteen is right below your house. Seriously it takes me just 3 minutes to reach the canteen from my doorstep. Imagine how tempting that is. If there's no food in your house, all you have to do is just drop down there. Man living in Sunkoshi's gonna make me broke and fat. Lol. Not that i'm not. Let's say fatter alright.

Today's PM shift. Can't believe it's Friday. I used to get so excited on Fridays but now... i'm working on the weekends so what difference is that??!

Siannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

LOL i'm always thinking about enjoying life. So many thoughts go through my mind like what i shall do, what i want to do, how things will be and so on.

But at the end of the day, my ass will be on my bed or chair and that's it.

Enjoying my life indeed. Tsk.

Lol i just realised from NY, i went on talking to something else which wasn't linked.

But actually i was trying to say that... i don't think my education will match in NY. I might have to start over again. Maybe. Or.. i just don't know how it will be like. Like it's sort of unpredictable.

But why am i worrying right? I mean i'm still young. This is the time where i enjoy my life.

Tho maybe i'm expecting too much. Skali it's not gonna be fun there. Lol.

But for now... In New Yorkkkkkkk.........

(singing song ok)

Lol i don't know why but now that dad told me he's already preparing for NY... i'm kinda excited.

Previously i was dead on against it cos of the education there and personally, i prefer Asian countries. At least there are a LOT of Asians in Aussie. Not that i'm against non-Asians lah. It's just that i feel more err.... have a feeling of "belonging" in an Asian country cos the cultures are similar.

But then i have been thinking... O.O These days, i kinda feel that life is very short. That 24 hours a day are not enough. It's not like i'm dying but seriously.. i was thinking and damn, 19 years of my life has already passed by and they passed by so fast. In just five years time or so, i'll prolly be preparing to get married or something. And then i have to spend my whole entire life with that person. I'll have a lot of responsibilities. And the thing is, i don't feel like i've enjoyed my life enough! I don't think i have done any things that i want to do in my life. Not that i can't do that if i'm married lah. But you know... certain things... it's really enjoyable only when you're free of responsibilities and you have FREEDOM! Omg.

What shall i do.

Wait.

Why the fck am i always thinking about all this at the wrong times?

I haven't even finish my PRCP and i'm thinking about all these.

Present first Jeni. Present. Your present makes up your future.

3 months, fighting!

Well... the day went by just like that.

Pretty sure today will, too. Hmm.. kinda feel like baking.

Anyway i don't know, like the fact that i've already started PRCP, in fact my third day already, it still hasn't sink in yet. Dang.

Also i think there's something lacking in my life. Or perhaps i am just waiting for something to happen. Or wanting to happen. But i can't live my life just waiting or wanting eh?

Gotta do something.

Something thrilling, something exciting, something that will make me have tachycardia.

Hahahahah lol, i was thinking what are the things that can make me feel like that..

And i instantly like INSTANTLY thought about TVXQ three days ago.

Man if only everyday was like that. Hahahah.

Alright! it's 5am. Keep on saying about my screwed up face and biological clock yet i still stay up late. Come on Jeni, if you're gonna complain, THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT or don't complain at all! Sighssssssssss.

Why do i feel like i have a split personality at times? Like there'll be two voices talking in my head. Tsk.

Goodnight.

Woke up around 4 plus. No idea what i shall do.. maybe dramas.

Hmmm. My plan was to wear compression stockings at home and sleep/watch dramas and so on but the auntie didn't bring the fair one so... cancelled.

So now... hmmm.. ok doesn't matter. Still gonna do the same things.

first day at the ward. The moment i entered my cubicle, shower, parameters-that too manually, sponging, commode, commode and more commode. Rempit.

Anway got my duty roster for the week. Day off today and tomorrow. So weird that i'm not going for attachment on a weekday and then going on the weekends. Haha welcome to PRCP life, Jeni.

Anyway my face is one screwed mess currently. And it's because of my fault. Haven't been sleeping on time. Always the usual four hours. Dang. Everytime attachment starts, a war just bursts on my face. Sighs.

Anyway not feeling good at all. First off, i'm STILL having the post-tvxq withdrawal symptoms.

Like seriously man. It was THAT of an impact. Hahahaha.

Sighs... been watching videos on Junsu and Eunhyuk. Haha can totally see why the two get along so well, they're so alike! Heh.

Omg my legs are gonna have DVT sooner or later man. Veins popping out already. Dang. Compression stockings. Need them. Legs hurt like hell man. Went home and instantly crashed on my bed. Sighs............

And... thinking about future is tensing me up. I'm still not detached from my fantasy.

Wake up Jeni.

For now, sleep.

Goodnight.

Ok!

Need to adjust my biological clock. No more late nights.

Shall bathe, iron and sleep. Hope the day goes well and my preceptor will be an awesome one.

Goodnight!

So yep, it's here. The last three months of my studies in Singapore. The final stage.

Today, we just had orientation and so on. Spent the entire day in the theater.

I was getting so sleepy man. The asst director of Nursing came and talked to us.

The moment she started, she talked about people with attitude problems and people who they feel are not yet up to standard will fail PRCP. GG. Oh godddddddddddddd dang it.

Anyway day one over. Went Kamala's house after that. We had cup noodle there. Collected my mails. 50 bucks from ED attachment banked! Yay. Now Geron and PRCP attachment money.

Don't think i'm prepared for PRCP. Still lacking knowledge and i've forgotten some of my skills. Need to thoroughly read it up one day soon. That better be within this week.

Been thinking about life. Now that my time in SG is coming to an end soon.

I wanna enjoy my life more. Like for the next four or five years.

Things i want to do in my life...

Be with my family and always keep them happy.

Get decent grades in my studies.

Have an independent life where i can earn money for myself.

Do some humanitarian work.

Travelling.

Experience love.

And lastly, be someone who had an effect on a person's life positively.

Hmmmm i wonder how things will go.

Wait Jeni, that's not gonna happen soon. Focus on your present.

It's PRCP yo.

Dang.

Oh right right! Hahaha the girls who made the fanvids got to have like a poster signed by them.

Anyway lol when Changmin was signing, everyone was like shouting, "heart! heart!". (We all know how that guy never does fan services and for him to draw a heart is like a jackpot just struck.)

So the fans were shouting heart and omo, he actually drew it! Tho his heart had stripes in it(weird). Lol. After he did it, he had that kind of you know... Changmin's smirk kind of laugh. Hahahah.

Rare moment when Changmin actually draws a heart. Heh.

Okkkkk!

I'm sorry. I'm sort of still in a state of OMG I CANT BELIEVE IT.

Damn i feel so so so sad right now.

Lol. Damn PRCP finally starts today and it's still not sinking into my brains.

Throughout the whole holidays and so on, i didn't even revise or go through the skills man. Guess the first three weeks are gonna be O.O for me. Hope all goes well man. Prays it goes by fast and smoothly. Alright! I need to shower, iron and pack my stuffs. Hope today's lectures all day long.

And i'm actually half praying that i'll meet Changmin. Somehow some way. Lol.

Goodnight.

Just some minutes ago before this picture was taken, DBSK stood on it.

Couldn't take properly-___-

Check out the TVXQ at the seating area.

THIS close to the stage man.

And i didn't even zoom in.

The queue behind me.

The queue infront of me.

Check out the banner for Yunho.

Goodies from Gmarket!

Woke up at 7.45am, got ready and reached there around like 10am. The queue was already there but thank god, i was atleast within the first 1/5 of the queue. Omg the official time for the even to start was at 7 so can you imagine, we queued there for like.... the whole entire day. In the end at 12pm, i got so frickin bored, i left my bag at the queue, went to the mall and caught You are the apple of my eye. Ok the actor is cute. But i don't really get the main storyline of the movie, so what is it trying to say?

Rushed back and omg the queue had changed to another location. Thank god the fangirls around me brought my bag along with them. GG. Waited there all the way till 6.30pm and we went inside the stadium. To be honest, i was getting sleepy. Lol because of waiting and waiting. But at the same time, i was feeling SO FRICKIN nervous. I managed to be near the front. Man, it was crowded but okay lah... mosh pit after all.

They started playing the MV and so on. I know it's them but i was getting bored cos i wanted to see the REAL them. So anyway they came out and everyone of us screamed. I've forgotten the sequence of the songs. They sang How Can I, Maximum, Keep your head down, Mirotic, Purple line, Rising Sun, Just the way you are, Before you go and er..... i can't remember.

Omgomg. At one point, it was pretty quiet, like i don't know what was happening but there wasn't much noise and i shouted Changmin and you know how like when people call your name, you will instantly react. O.O He did and then he looked over. Died there.

Man... Changmin was so....Changmin. Like when Yunho was talking or someone was talking, he had his head down and was laughing like you know that kind of laugh where you find what the person is saying sort of lol, kind of a lil smirking way. Heh. Yunho, leader shi was friendly.

OMG OMG THEIR SINGING AND DANCE.

YOU HAVE TO HEAR/SEE IT LIVE. Seriously so so so so much better live than TV. Their dance was epic man. The fanchants were amazing too!

They spoke lil english. They used Singlish too. Lol. Changmin's "alamak" usage and the "lah".

Somewhere in the middle, they showed two fan videos which two fans had made. Omg it was so frickin emotional. Cos they showed like all the way back in 2006 and so on. Seriously i was really expecting the video to show pictures of the other members too. At one point, tho it wasn't obvious, there were five of them in one of the pic. So anyway we were all watching it together, the video was pretty sad lah. And unknowingly, i started tearing. Cos i was thinking of O.O, here they are, the legend of Kpop, this group of five guys painstakingly made their way to the top, created the hallyu wave in Japan and so on and it's so sad to see them now apart.

Other fans were like crying away. After that, they had more performances, talked and i shouted Changmin pretty much a lot of times. Man, i think there were a lot of Yunho fans. Like seriously a lot. Everyone was screaming for Yunho. I was in the minority section who was screaming all the way for Changmin and.... he heard it. Woohoo~

After the thing ended, omg felt so sad man. Like seriously so sad.

Went straight to starbucks, had a large caramel frappuccino and wandered around aimlessly on the street. Kinda regretted buying it cos i couldnt finish it. Went home after that.

Man...... seriously not getting over it.

Anyway my leg and back's hurting like hell man. I had to seriously strain them. I had to tip toe till they started shaking. Lol. Hands also tired cos of waving the lightstick. But it was awesome.

I didn't take pictures of them much either cos i was too engrossed in enjoying the show and damn, the security was EXTREMELY STRICT to the maxz. I think the security sent one of the fan out of the stadium cos she kept taking pictures. So yeah..

Omg, now back to reality Jeni.

FML, i'm still not getting over the fact that PRCP's tomorrow.

No no no no no.

In the end, i came back online.

Wanted the correct exact directions to Singapore Indoor Stadium. Actually i know where it is but i wanted to know like the EXACT place. -___- Also wanted to see the fanchants. Doubt i'll do it though. Think i'll be either star-struck or screaming all the way. A sore throat, great way to start PRCP eh?

Lol goodnight!

Just skyped with my parents. Mad happpppppppppy!

Good old times when we joke and laugh. Wooohoooo.

Discussed about future studies with dad too. Man i don't think i'm going Aussie..

Think i'm going NY instead. Dang.... Ok i'm like mixed about this.

It's exciting cos it's New York. But on the other hand, i have to start all over again.

Which okay lah, is a bit wasted but atleast i have a whole lot of knowledge so it will be easier.

Whereas Aussie.. definitely better for studies wise since nursing is compatible there with SG. But on another note, Aussie means being away from my family.

So i guess... NY it is?

Ok forget it. OMO TODAY IS THE DAY.

Which also happens to be my last day of the holidays-_________-

And that also means....OMG PRCP TOMORROW.

3 months. Damn it. And it's like i'm not even serious or have done nothing to prepare for it.

But then again, what's there to prepare? Hmmm.

Alright really really need to BO now. Like i'm shivering already.

Bathe, sleep and wooooooh tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Woke up around 11.30am, headed to the airport and.... I MET THEM!

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooh~

Ok seriously i don't even feel like it's real? Like i don't feel like they're even in Singapore.

I was actually pretty chill for this man. Seriously. Although i said omg a couple of times in the video, i wasn't exactly hyperventilating. No idea why. Seems like a dream.

Man they're gorgeous. Like fricking model gorgeous. And they're tall yo!!!

Changmin walks like a model. He smiled here and there but was pretty much expressionless. Some fans were saying that when he came out, he smirked a lil. Some fans were complaining on why he didn't wave and so on. Like lol! Changmin was being so.... Changmin! I mean if they're a fan, they should know Changmin rarely does fan services. Lol. And for some strange reason, that's one of the reason why i like him. Lol. Anyway i swear when he came out from the door, he glimpsed over to our side for a second and that had to be the moment when my hand was unsteady. Damn it.

Yunho, leader shi was friendly. He smiled and waved at us. Didn't catch much of him cos i was too focused on Changmin.

Anyway, it was awesomeeeee. They're currently staying at Fullerton. My id is screaming at me to go and camp there overnight. Lol. Wonder what they're doing right now on this chilly day.

Oh yeah lololol! Guess what. Just today i saw this interview where DBSK did and here's what Changmin said: "Actually, I’m good with observing girls. Though I have yet to say this before, for example, if I observed 10 girls off-stage, I can see clearly who wears what and how their faces are. It’s clearer than what audience can imagined."

Okay. He definitely saw us then.

#delusionalbutsomewhataliltrueok.

#shameless

Wooooooooh~ Eggcited for tomorrow.

Heheheh.

Yayiyayiyayiyayiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

(I was singing.)

I'm gonna see them later!!!!!! Hopefully! And even if it don't, i'll still see them tomorrow!!!!

Wooooooooooooooo~

Changmin ah! Weeeeeheeeheeeee. Eggcited.

Shall go airport. Yay.

Goodnight.

Damn had only three hours of sleep. Met Jana and we went JB by bus. Roamed around the mall, had Seoul Garden for lunch, way cheap. Like 14 bucks SGD? Tho not much variety there and the meat is kinda... errr.. has fats in it. Ate there and man fricking small world it is.

I met this Chinese lady who i had met some years ago. She's married to a Nepalese guy and has a son and her family was having lunch right beside us. I met her twice in SG before some years back with my friends at some random mall while we were shopping and at that time, we had a small chat bout her family. Tho she's still a stranger lah. Omg i was like looking at her, trying to figure where on Earth i had seen her before and then i remembered it's that lady. I think she remembered too cos when we had eye contact the moment i sat down, she smiled(or maybe just being friendly, lol). But we didn't talk. I had SUCHA MAD urge to talk to her man. But beyzard cos the husband was there. Omg man when i had met her, her son was still a baby in the pram. Now he's like standing and so active like 3 years old or so. GG man, i was like waddafug, time sure goes by huh!!

Ok anyway moving on. We went for aromatherapy at Thai Odyssey. Ok seriously. Beyzard cos we had to bare ourselves. Oh em gee. So yep, the two ladies who massaged our body saw it all. Omg, beyzard. And GG, can someone explain to me. Isn't aromatherapy supposed to be relaxing and gentle? WAE WAE WAE was is so painful??!!!! Oh my god. I swear to God, i was like WTF???!!!!! in my mind. Oh holy moly, when she pressed on with her knuckles at my shoulders and my forearm, i had a million thoughts going through my head and each thought was screaming WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF IS THIS? But...... okay lah maybe i'm exaggerating but seriously leh, it did hurt. Actually i was like, "okay lah, it is a massage after all. What's a gain without no pain." I thought i'll be super relieved and flexible after that but dang, my shoulders and forearm is still aching man. Lol. But maybe tomorrow, it will be better. Lol. I think it was a bit dangggg cos we had just finished our lunch and our bloated stomach was being pressed down so that's like trying to compress a solid material.

Thank god, i have enough tolerance to not scream when i'm in pain. So the massage cost like 43 bucks SGD. Cool huh. I think i'll come back again.....maybe.. but definitely another different massage. Hahaha.

Jana and I had actually planned to watch a movie there but.... the movies weren't much there so cancelled. Roamed around more. Damn need to bring more money next time. Had a cake at Coffee Bean and then we went back to the checkpoint. Along the way, i bought prawn rolls and pineapple tarts. Went back to SG. We left pretty early cos we had run out of cash and we were dead sleepy. Reached home at 8pm. Went for naran party. Full to the maxz.

Super sleepy right now. Need to bathe first.

DBSK coming tomorrow, oh yeah baby!!!!!!!!!!

Woohooohooohoooohoooooooo~

Oh right here's the chocolate chip banana cake.

Just look at the difference between this and the previous one i baked.

Baking soda does make a difference people!

If the recipe says it, better put it in!

And awwww shit, looking at this is not helping my hunger.

Went TP yesterday with Jana. Exchanged our money. Yay~

Mad eggcited. Can't wait for massage.

Kinda hungry right now. Damn it. The only thing i had throughout the whole entire day was milk tea and dinner. Ok lah it's kind of my fault because i woke up at 4.30pm so i missed lunch.

Damn seriouslyyyyyy. Grrrrrrr.

Anyway i've been thinking a lot. Of myself and how i am like.

And i don't like it.

Goodnight.

Full version of the MV!

They just wanna make us cry all over again huh.

6am again.

Baked two cakes yesterday. Choc chip banana and chocolate banana cake. Prefer the choc chip. I think cos there was too much choc banana mixture. Anyway sick of eating banana cakes. Wanna eat cheesecake instead. For that i need cream which i shall not buy.

Went over to Kamala's house after that with the cakes. Dinner with everyone there.

Only times like this where everyone of us gather huh?!?!

Discussed bout our future. Most likely Aussie. Have yet to talk to dad about it.

Sighs...... i wonder how it's gonna be in the future.

Sometimes i wonder. It's like my future will be based on the choices that i make. I mean if i choose to get married, my future will be of me doing household chores and part time jobs. If i choose to pursue my studies, i'll be in Aussie, working there, earning money, being independent and prolly not getting married.

I mean i find this pretty O.O Like the choices that we make now is like the pathway to how our future is gonna be like so is there a thing called fate? Lol.

Ok forget it. It's 6.15am. I need to bathe and sleep stat. Need to wake up later to withdraw money.

I'm going Malaysia tomorrow, mad eggcited yo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Massage massage massage.

Yay.

Goodnight.

Japanese version of Haru Haru!
Man i missed this song. The song that got me hooked on to Big Bang.
Still prefer the Korean version but not bad attempt!
woohoooooo!